Oh Internet, what am I going to do with you?

The Internet is a double edged sword.  It is wonderful, yet more of a world of widening webs.

I am really enjoying this writing/blogging thing.  If I could post without going on the Internet, I would publish a new article every single day.

However, I must admit, the wondering www dot is taking a toll on my positive body image.  No matter what I do, I can’t figure out how to blog without checking my Facebook news feed. 

For me, too much Facebook equals low self-esteem.  And even though I love keeping in touch with people, it can really knock me off balance if I am not careful.

Each time I post a new blog entry, I scroll through my never ending (literally!) home page and look at everyone’s pictures.

 

Besides feeling like it is a waste of time, I can’t stop comparing myself to others.

 

People post pictures of themselves in new clothes, selfies in front of their mirrors, at the beach, or even prego pictures at such and such weeks.  If I could look at pictures without feeling jealous, I would.  I even feel a twinge of guilty envy when I see beautiful mothers and their beautiful babies.

“I don’t look as good as she does in those shorts.  I wish I could wear a dress like that.  I could never do my hair like that.  She is so pretty.  She is so funny.  Wow; she worked out for an hour in the rain?  That’s a great comment; I could never be that witty.  She is so skinny and she is 5 months pregnant.  I could never look like that.  Her kids are adorable; how does she keep it all together and still manage to look like a movie star?  She takes really great pictures; she could be a professional.”

After the dust has settled, I admit that Facebook causes me to feel like a fat failure.

I have to be honest with myself and decide if it’s causing me more unnecessary damage.  If that is the case, then bye-bye Facebook.

The Internet seems to undo all the positive steps I take.  I am trying my hardest to get rid of the unrealistic expectations I place on myself.  So much of my anxiety comes from my perfectionist tendencies and extremely high standards.  Motivation is a good thing if it promotes action.  But when the expectations get too ridiculous, it can be crippling.  “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick (from my Tiny Buddha article - Click here if you missed it!)

Facebook is all about showing your best side to the world.  It has “highlight reel” written all over it.

I am working up the courage to deactivate my Facebook account.  I am not ready to do that yet, but if it continues to affect me negatively, then I will.

Famous last words…

I don't want to have to quit Facebook, but should I?  What do you think?

 

Do you avoid Facebook for any reason?  How does it make you feel after spending time on it?  Can you go on the Internet without checking Facebook?  If so, how do you do it?

 

Challenge of the Day: Write down how you feel after spending time on Facebook.  Then give it up for a day.  At the end of that day, write down how you feel.  Is there a huge difference?