Make sure your head and
body are in the same place. In other
words, be in the moment. If you find
yourself worrying about something, someone, or some situation, and it is taking
you out of the present moment, schedule a time later in the day, or the next
day, when you can worry about it. Then,
when that time comes, you can think about all the things you wanted to analyze
or worry about. This technique keeps you
from getting caught up in anxiety and frees you to concentrate on what’s going
on around you.
Look people in the
eye when talking to them. I have
found this helpful because it keeps my attention on the other person. If I am not looking directly at them, I am more
likely to get self-conscious, nervous about what I am saying, or worry about my
appearance or what they think of me. If
I look people in the eye, I remember that they are a human being like me with
their own faults, failures, and anxieties.
I guess it levels the playing ground, so to speak, and I no longer feel
inferior or not good enough to be talking to them.
Move on from
disappointments, broken expectations, etc.
If something doesn’t turn out how you want, instead of focusing on the
negative, recognize all the positive things that turned out all right.
Embrace the
awkwardness. No one is perfect. Conversations and interactions are going to
be just as flawed as anything else in this world. Learn to laugh at the instances that make you
feel awkward. And remember, the other
person probably feels just as weird. So,
don’t put the blame on yourself and beat yourself up for not being the most
perfect social butterfly. It’s OK to not
always say the right thing.
Smile. Smiling goes a long way when you are feeling
anxious. For one, it relaxes your facial muscles,
releasing the tension from your head. Smiling also reminds you that it's never as bad as it seems.
Sit down if you feel
yourself getting anxious. If you
struggle with anxiety, you know it can be exhausting. Sitting down can help you calm down. Find a chair if you
feel your heart rate going up, your palms getting sweaty, or your head getting
dizzy. The security of a solid chair
will help you remember that you are not as unstable as you think.
If you find yourself
getting ultra anxious, remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes it helps to excuse yourself for a
bit, whether you go the bathroom or go outside to get some fresh air. It helps to take a few private moments to
recollect your thoughts and your confidence.
Repeat positive
phrases to yourself. It will help
you to recalibrate your brain waves, remind you that you are in control and not
the failure your brain is telling you that you are. Tell yourself things like, “This will soon
pass”, “I am not crazy, I just have anxiety”, “A lot of people struggle with
this just like me”, “I am strong in my weakness”, “I am loved”, “Feelings are
not facts”, etc.
Don’t put pressure on
yourself to talk to people. Get rid
of all the rules you’ve made for yourself.
If you don’t feel like initiating a conversation, then don’t. Anxiety is often the result of shoulds and
oughts. Social anxiety comes from
pressures and expectations to be a certain way in a crowd of people. You don’t have to do those things you feel
you should do; who made those rules anyway?
Silence is OK. Learn to appreciate the virtue of silence,
even in a group of people. Don’t put
pressure on yourself to control the conversation or be the center of
attention. If you don’t know what to
say, it’s alright, nobody else does either.
Embrace the awkwardness and just smile.
Remember to keep
breathing. It sounds like a no
brainer, but I often have to remind myself to take in oxygen or to release the
oxygen in my lungs because I’m holding my breath. The dizziness that sometimes comes from panic
and anxiety is often from the lack of oxygen to the brain. If you remind yourself to keep breathing
normally, you will be more capable of keeping yourself from a full blown panic
attack.
Move at your own pace. Don’t put pressure on yourself to keep up
with everyone else: if that means slowing down your walking pace, taking your
time while eating and drinking, or moving on from one thing to the next. People who suffer from anxiety often have a
difficult time with change, even moment to moment tasks. It’s OK to take your time and be in control
of your transitions. There is nothing
wrong with taking your time. If people
make fun of you for your coping skills, then that’s their problem. It is more important to stick to your copings
skills then to have your peace and calm rocked in order to please some who doesn’t
understand you in the first place.
Let the event run itself.
Don’t get involved in the behind the
scenes. It is not your job to worry
about whether things are running smoothly or as they are supposed to go. Make the most in whatever situation you find
yourself – meaning, be in the moment not in the “worry”.
One moment at a time. Anxiety can be the result of not living in
the present; either from
worrying about things you cannot control or not having trust in your decision
making capabilities. You cannot control
what happens in the next week, the next day, or even the next second. Worrying about what will happen in the future
does no good for the anxious brain. Just
so, worrying or analyzing the past will not help either. Remember, you’ve made it this far, trust in
your decisions. Have faith that, when
the time comes, you will make good decisions and be able to react to whatever
unknown circumstances in which you may find yourself.
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