Sometimes, my husband is hesitant to get up in the morning, just like any other person when they don’t get enough sleep. When Craig innocently complains about going to work, my crazy brain starts to panic and a train of thought starts rolling down hill.
I know he likes his job and I know he would never just quit. However, once the door is opened, my thoughts just run wild. I end up with an anxiety attack because I think that he won’t be able to go to work anymore.
"Because he is having one bad day, all the rest of the days will be bad from here on out. He won’t be able to keep his job, he won’t be able to take care of me, and I will have to get a job. I will have to make money to share the burden and support the family!" ...Typical string of consciousness.
Worst-case scenarios start like this; Craig hits the snooze button multiple times, and before he is out the door, I am hyperventilating because I think I have to get a full-time job. I am job searching online and beefing up my resume until he sends me a happy text. You mean you’re not going to quit your job? You mean it’s not the end of the world? Oh. Okay. Moving on…
Now, I don’t want Craig to never complain to me. Nobody should live with that expectation. I love my husband dearly. And I want him to complain to me about things that are going on.
Instead of hyperventilating at a normal comment, I need to figure out what I can do to be more realistic. What I need to do in the future, is stop the train (of thought) before it derails.
How can this be done, you ask? Oh, you didn't ask? Well, I'll tell you anyway...
Instead of hyperventilating at a normal comment, I need to figure out what I can do to be more realistic. What I need to do in the future, is stop the train (of thought) before it derails.
How can this be done, you ask? Oh, you didn't ask? Well, I'll tell you anyway...
Second, I entertain those “worst-case scenario” thoughts for a moment. (Not what you expected me to say, eh?) Okay, I am going to play out the scenario in my head. So Craig quits his job today. That would be the worst-case for me. After that, he would probably want to find a new job. And even if he didn't, we have an emergency fund in savings. We could survive for some time with that amount. If he couldn’t get a job, I couldn’t keep a job, and no one would take us in, even a close family member, then we would starve to death. As long as we kept going to confession, we would go to Heaven. Awesome! Well, that worst-case scenario had a very happy ending.
Sometimes, it helps me to think through the worst-case
scenarios that pop in my head. Maybe
they are not as bad as I thought in the first place. Maybe they are? Well, what I really need to do is to just
take it one day at a time. If I can’t
move on from the snowballing thoughts, I will end up calling Craig. He usually sets me straight and calms my
anxieties.
It is helpful to talk to someone with a clear head when yours is cloudy.
It is helpful to talk to someone with a clear head when yours is cloudy.
Well, what do you think? Are there times when you blow things out of proportion in your head? If so, how do you stop those negative thoughts and get back on the reality path? Maybe, you experience this with your kids. Are you worried that they will never come home when you put them on the bus? Do they disobey you one time and you already see them standing in juvenile court? I wrote a post a while ago about a similar thing...if you missed it, click here!
Have a nourishing weekend!
Have a nourishing weekend!
Every day!
ReplyDeleteThis is really wierd. My husband does the same thing. He complains about his job. Hates it even. And I DO in fact worry that I will have to go get a job and the only thing I am qualified to do is be a teacher. I know...poor me...but I actually do not wanna do it. Don't have the patience level at all. Not after raising my 4 kids...which I continue to do every day. Oh..and clean, shop for huge grocery lists, and try to keep fit (since I am a worry wart about my weight and body image is quite poor)...plus trying to start a business. It is no easy feat.
Wow, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I will pray for you and your husband and that he can find a job that is more fulfilling and that he enjoys. Things will work out, one day at a time.
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