Saturday, July 8, 2017

A person is a person no matter how sick

Recently, someone said something to me that really stuck. You know who you are. Thank you for your wise words.

"A person being on medication for depression is no different than a person being on medication for high blood pressure or diabetes or anything."

You can tell yourself something over and over and over...
...then someone else says it and you're like "ah-ha!". Ya know?

You are no less a person if you take medicine for depression or anxiety or any other mental health problem.

Why is there is so much guilt/shame that comes with taking antidepressant medication? To admit you have depression requires you almost to admit that you are a failure, that you are weak, and that you can't handle pain. Depression, itself, is a disease in your brain that makes you feel this way. Then, in order to accept help, you have to look it, depression, in the face and say, "Yes, you are right, Stupid Depression. I am NOT good enough, I am NOT worthy, and I am NOT the way I wish I was. I admit that I can not do this thing called 'living' anymore on my own. Yet, Stupid Depression, I. DO. NOT. CARE. what you are telling me. Despite all the negative things you are making me believe about myself, I choose to try this medicine. Because I have hope for a better life. Because I have hope that I'm meant for more than misery. Because I have hope that all those things I believe about myself are not true."

There was once a time before antibiotics. We take them for granted now, but they are a modern invention to help people live longer and better lives. Antidepressants are also a medical advancement to help people live longer and better lives. It's different, yet also the same.

A person is a person no matter how small.
A person is a person no matter if they are born or unborn.
A person is a person no matter what they do.
A person is a person no matter if they have a job or not.
A person is a person no matter if they have a terminal illness.
A person is a person no matter what medication they are taking.

Friday, June 30, 2017

Because I LOVE reading books. Because I LOVE to learn. And maybe you do too!

So this book...

A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul

By Holly Pierlot

About the vocation of MOTHERHOOD. Why didn't anyone tell me about this book before I had kids?!?! Babies don't come with an instruction manual, unfortunately. But this book is the closest thing you can read on how to live a happy, fulfilling, stress-free life with kids.

Before I read this book, I thought kids and chaos went together like Peanut Butter and Jelly. Handling chaos is not one of my strengths. For that reason, I've always been attracted to the religious life. My Aunt and Godmother is a Dominican Sister of the St. Cecilia Congregation in Nashville, TN. I thought I was called to be a religious sister when I was in college. But, long story short, I was just attracted to the tranquility, the schedule, the beauty, the simplicity, the apparent peace and joy that comes with that certain kind of closeness to Our Lord. There was no way to achieve that "spirituality" being a mom..........or was there? Longer story even shorter, I am married with two kids. Holly says there is a way to bring a "Rule" into your home without putting your kids up for adoption and joining an religious order.

I finally have an understanding of my vocation as a mother. Sure, I'm not perfect in putting it into practice. But it's a hel'ov'a lot better. I have direction. I have purpose. Being a mom has so much more meaning now.

If you read this beautiful book, please don't let it overwhelm you. Holly had older kids when she wrote it. With little little kids, it is practically impossible to stick to a time schedule. And I didn't write things down as I read, like she recommends. I just read the whole thing and took the spirit of it and applied it to my own particular season of life.

And let me changing. for me. right now. at this time in my life. 'nough said.

Monday, June 26, 2017

God's plan is infinitely greater than mine

Yesterday was Sunday. I try to follow the mantra, "Lots of God, Lots of Family, and Lots of Rest", a quote that I stole from this great book about the vocation of motherhood called, "A Mother's Rule of Life: How to bring order to your home and peace to your soul" by Holly Pierlot.

Anyway, both boys took an awesomely epic the same time. This never happens. I caught a quick nap myself and then just kind of chilled out doing I can't remember what. As the minutes went by, I got more and more anxious. I started pacing. What the heck was going on? My heart rate skyrocketed, and I started breathing heavily. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I didn't know what was wrong. There was no logical explanation. I thought I'd be refreshed, but instead, I felt awful.

The trouble was that, usually, I have a plan. And when I don't have a plan, I feel "shoulds" and "oughts" and "should haves". Yesterday, I unexpectedly had 2 1/2 hours of "free time". As this rare opportunity grew, I felt more and more guilty that I hadn't used my time wisely........or what I thought was "wisely".  All the things I could have done piled up inside my head until I was about to explode.

As much as I try to make Sunday God's day, I couldn't just let go 100% and be content doing nothing, resting as God did on the last day of the week.

There is so much I feel like I have to do. There is so much I'd like to do.

But all those things on my lists, yes lists, are not top priority.

I have not fully embraced my vocation as a mother. I still try to fit in all this other stuff to make myself happy so that I can just get through my primary job, being a mom.

God called me to this vocation of motherhood because, in His great wisdom, He knows it's my path to Heaven and ultimate happiness. I may think I have the best plan, but God's plan is infinitely greater.

I'll try to let go of my rules and start following God's rule for my life.