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| {Photo published on web here} |
Sweatpants and sweatshirts are my go-to, comfortable, baggy tents where I can hide myself and easily
slip into bed if I need an emergency nap.
In my darkest of times, I went weeks without changing my clothes. Gross…I know.
But I didn’t care.
For me, it was too difficult to even think about taking care
of my appearance. Just getting out of
bed was a monumental task. Eating was a
bonus, but not a guarantee.
As I was going through treatment and recovery for my
depressive disorder, I slowly began to make progress. I learned about cognitive behavioral therapy
and how to re-train my thoughts. I was
very much a victim to the “all or nothing”
thinking.
In addition to a lot of help from my support system, I
started practicing the “one step at a time” technique to counteract my “all or
nothing” thought process.
This year for Lent, I put this technique into practice and I
gave up my sweatpants (from after breakfast, until right before I go to bed). You might laugh at my sacrifice. You might
think that my offering is pretty minuscule and wonder what sweatpants have to
do with religion. But, I honestly
believe that it was an inspired decision.
The basic concept of giving up my favorite comfy pants follows
the “one step at a time” program. I only
have to do one thing. I know that I only have to change out of my
sweatpants. I don’t have to do anything else.
There is no pressure, no standards, and no expectations. “I can handle that”, I think to myself each
morning, “I just have to do this one simple task”.
At first I was upset about the implications of doing
something so small and insignificant for Lent.
“Does this make me a bad Christian?” I would worry.
The priest at my parish says that the enemy is not concerned
about those people who take on many tasks during the holy time of Lent. The devil knows our human nature better than
we do. He knows that if we take on too
much, we will get overwhelmed and eventually give up. If we intend to change many habits at the
beginning of Lent, the enemy knows that we will fail, so he doesn’t even bother
to try and tempt us.
How I used to view Lent is similar to how I think about my
life in general. I wanted to do all
these grand sacrifices because I wanted to be a good Catholic. However, because of my depression and the way
I approached my faith, I was often discouraged.
Because I felt extreme expectations to live a certain way, I was left
crippled and ended up not doing anything at all.
Since I’ve been on the road to mental health, I’ve realized
that I have to throw my expectations out the window.
What if I just commit to doing one thing, one sacrifice, one
step?
So, I gave it a try; I gave up wearing sweatpants during the
day. That sacrifice, however small, was
all I could give to God for the time being.
He took my minuscule offering and started transforming my life in a way
I would have never imagined.
One step at a time; after I change out of sweatpants, I
think that I might as well put on a new shirt because the closet is open and I
am right in front of it. After I change
my shirt, I feel like I can brush my teeth too.
And looking in the mirror as I am brushing my teeth, I put my hair in a
pony tail. Then I think that I might as
well put my contacts in since they are right there on the bathroom shelf. Heck, I might even make my bed. And if I am really lucky, I might even make
it to mass in the morning or spend time in prayer at church.
Before I go on, I want to say that I don’t think sweatpants
are bad in and of themselves. That’s not the point. The point is that my one action snowballed into many other actions that I was too
overwhelmed to do before.
All of those actions came from one simple step. Even
though it is small, I know it is pleasing to the Lord. And I know that I could not have done any of
those things without His help. It all
started from offering Him the one and only thing I could do; giving up my
sweatpants. And some days, that one task
was all I could do. But, I did not get discouraged because that
was all I committed to in the beginning.
As a result of that one simple step, I am now going to mass
more often, praying the rosary more often, cleaning, cooking, running errands,
helping others, teaching religion, and doing all sorts of things that were too
difficult for me to do before. This is
big deal for me because, recently, my full-time job has been recovery and healing.
We never know what God can do with our lives. He can take our small offerings and
sacrifices and turn them into something miraculous. It is a lesson for me to not withhold a gift
because I think it is too small and too unworthy. Remember, this is the same God that created the
whole universe out of nothing. He can surely transform your life, if you
give Him whatever you have.
Of course, I still have bad days, because I am still on the
road to recovery. I still fail to make
that first step and subsequently, the whole rest of the day is shot. However, I have hope and I know I can try
again tomorrow. It since I’ve started my
“one step at a time” dealy-o, things have been tremendously better. I know now not to let “perfect” get in
the way of “better”.
You don’t have to wait for Lent next year to start the “one
step” process. For me, it just clicked
during Lent this year. I realized that,
at anytime, you have to start with one thing first in order to make lasting progress.
Challenge of the Day:
Make a “first step”. If you don’t
know where to begin, just pick one thing that would be a good starting point
for you. Ask yourself how changing that “one
thing” can positively affect your life.
Then focus on just achieving that “one thing” for a period of time
(say…one month, or two months). Do not
try to take on a list of new habits.
Just commit to one thing, one change…I guarantee you will begin to enjoy
a more nourishing life.
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