I was a goodie two-shoes in high school. I didn’t drink and I didn’t do drugs.
College
was a different story.
As my
depression got increasingly worse, I turned to alcohol and drugs to self-medicate.
At the
time, I didn’t realize I was relying on those substances to cope with my troubled
existence. In a very short time, I began using alcohol to survive. It seemed like
everyone else could handle drinking and partying just fine. I quickly noticed, however, that I was
different. I began to seek out the high
instead of the party. I became obsessed
with alcohol and forgot about socializing.
After my
“turning point”, I gave up drinking. I
was highly encouraged to do so by my doctor, as well. By “highly encouraged”, I mean, I would still
be in the hospital if I didn’t agree to stay sober. When it came down to it, I had to commit
to the decision for myself.
Alcohol,
as a substance, is officially labeled a “downer”. If you are struggling with the blues, alcohol
will bring you down further. If you are
struggling with major clinical depression, alcohol can be life threatening.
Everyone occasionally feels down or sad. But these feelings
are usually short-lived and pass within a couple of days or so. When you have
major clinical depression, it doesn’t go away no matter what you do. It can completely debilitate you. It is way more complicated than, “just getover it”.
Personally, I believe, an
essential aspect of my recovery is staying away from alcohol. In medical jargon, you will be told:
Recognize the biological effects of alcohol
use. Avoid or minimize alcohol use. Alcohol is a depressant in which prolonged
or excessive use will increase and deepen symptoms associated with depression.
Alcohol can produce a "high" and initial relief from depression.
Regular alcohol use, even in moderation, can prolong recovery and deepen
symptoms of depression. (Info from this site)
Giving up alcohol has been very difficult. When I am faced with temptation, I remember that
I don’t want to go back to the way I was before. I remember the negative consequences if I
drink. For the most part, remembering why I am doing what I am doing helps me
to avoid giving in.
I am committed to never drinking alcohol again. It’s not worth it. I have made so much progress with recovery so
far. One drink is not worth the ten
wasted years of my life. Why would I ever
want to purposefully take steps backward now?
I know the facts and I do not think that I am above the facts. I do not think that I am the exception to the
statistics. I admit that I am not
super-human. So, in conclusion, I admit
that I will never drink again.
If you are going through a tough time and are feeling down
in the dumps, it might be a good thing to stay away from the alcohol. Whether or not you struggle with depression,
alcohol has proven negative psychological effects. When you are sad, it’s okay to feel sad. You don't have to immediately be "not sad" every time you feel blue. It is okay to feel something other than happy and content all the time. Seeking out relief from alcohol is a slippery
slope. Everyone is human. You are not as super-human as you
think. You are not the exception to the
rules. Guard that precious gift you have
been given, your life. Not only protect it, but nourish it, as well!
Until next time, TAKE CARE!
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