Depression is an illness. It is not who you are.
I don't have any other way to describe it other than saying, depression is a disease in your brain; it's complex, it's confusing, and because of this, frustrating, but it's there.
Depression is NOT laziness. Depression is NOT ingratitude. Depression is NOT selfishness. When you are suffering from depression, you are NOT a bad person. Depression attacks the brain and causes all sorts of problems that YOU CANNOT CONTROL, no matter how hard you try.
I actively tried to heal myself of depression for eight and a half years. I dieted hard core. I exercised my butt off, literally. I took vitamins and supplements. I ate so many gosh-forsaken vegetables. I meditated. I prayed so hard I got callouses on my knees. I graduated college. I excelled at job after job. I fell in love. I got married. I gave up smoking. I gave up alcohol. I gave up coffee. I ran a marathon. I volunteered. Gosh darn it, I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT. You want to tell me I didn't try hard enough? I'll punch you in the face. Some people might even try to tell me that I tried too hard.
I just read several articles about the science of depression trying to formulate a summary. When I sat down this morning, I was going to write a technological post that highlighted the facts that depression is a real medical problem. However, I remembered feeling like those kind of articles really didn't help me when I was in the trenches. What helped me was knowing that the proof was out there, and once my brain was healthy again, I could go back and read and understand. If you want to read something "sciencey", read this article from Harvard Health Publications. Harvard, y'all.
Let me remind you AND MYSELF over and over and over that I have an illness, and I am not just an awful person...or lazy or spoiled or the worst kind of sinner. Depression is a real medical disease.
When you are suffering from depression, you are not the sum of what depression tells you that you are. You are not the sum of your symptoms. You are not the sum of what other people think of you.
Similarly, but OBVIOUSLY OBVIOUSLY OBVIOUSLY way different, someone does not choose to have cancer. It happens to you. Could you imagine telling someone with cancer that it's their fault? How heartbreaking would it be to hear someone say to someone with cancer that "if you just would have done some things differently, you wouldn't have this health issue" or that "you could be cured of it if you just changed your attitude and tried harder". Try telling someone with cancer that God gave you this suffering and you just have to offer it up. Try telling someone with cancer that "it's situational and once you get a job, or move, or find love, or volunteer you'll feel better".
I KNOW cancer is a million bazillion times different than depression. I will not pretend to understand cancer. I have absolutely NO IDEA what having cancer would be like. I have absolutely no idea how difficult it must be. But please let me draw the comparison that depression is like cancer in the way that you don't choose to have it. No one would ever choose cancer. No one would ever choose depression.
You can't let cancer go and see if it goes away. You can't let depression go and see if it goes away. You need medical help, whatever that might be.
Seriously, no one would choose depression. No one is choosing not to just "get over" depression.
People who are suffering from depression are some of the strongest, most committed, most compassionate, most caring, most generous, most loyal people you will ever meet. It is likely that they have lived through hell all alone without any support.
Finally getting help for depression does not mean that you are giving up, it does not mean that you are a failure. Getting help for depression means you are acknowledging the great MERCY OF GOD.
I believe God allows bad things to happen so that a greater good can come from it. He also works though other people and gives us the tools to help. Does He reach down His hand and cure someone right out in a dramatically miraculous way? Yes. But, I also believe that He works His miracles through the means He gives us.
I think Prozac is a miracle. It has miraculously changed my life.
In the past, I thought I would die. I wanted to die. Medicine saved my life. I am not a failure for taking medicine. I am not weak for taking medicine. I am acknowledging God's mercy and I will humbly take this little tiny pill because IT HELPS ME. Don't tell me it's all in my head. I know it's all in my head; my brain is suffering, my brain is flawed, my brain does not work the same way other people's brains work, and my brain needs help.
Depression symptoms actually make you feel like a failure. The symptoms actually cause you to think that you are a lazy, selfish, irresponsible, weak, angry, emotional, down-right-awful person. Depression makes you feel like other people think you are a failure too, whether they do or don't.
Something goes wrong in your brain. It could be sudden or gradual. The brain is so complicated. I don't know all the scientific facts. And I'm sure that we, as a society, have not yet learned all there is to know about the human body.
But we do know that depression is an illness. Getting medical help for depression can save your life.