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| {Photo credit here} |
On the other hand, I hate the busyness and the expectations the
Holidays can bring. Parties are crammed
into a few days. Meals take so much
preparation and planning. There are
expectations to make sure everything turns out perfect – having the right
amount of food, civil interactions with family members, finding the perfect
gifts, and having to appear a certain way.
Everybody handles the holiday season differently. For me, I have an introverted
personality. Large crowds, parties, and
socializing drains me, like a battery having the life sucked out of it. Some people, however, thrive in social
environments. Being in crowds and
socializing at parties recharges their batteries and actually gives them
energy. I have a difficult time
understanding this, but I know it is true because my husband is this way.
It is good to know which type of person you are.
If you are an introvert like me, or an extroverted
perfectionist, you might need these tips to help you have a more enjoyable
December. Or maybe you are an extrovert
but the holidays still stress you out. Regardless,
here are some hints to help you thrive during the holiday season, instead of
just surviving it.
1. Unplug from Pinterest. There are so many ideas on Pinterest, it can
be overwhelming. The “cuteness” and “cleverness”
is never ending. In addition, it is full
of unrealistic, perfect pictures. In no
way does the internet portray real life.
If you need a recipe or an idea and you MUST look at Pinterest, then set
a timer for 10 minutes. Look it up and
move on with your day. If you can’t
handle that, then look something up in an old fashioned cook book.
2. Slow down. Nothing is worth doing, if it is taking away
your peace and stressing you out. Work
at a pace that is enjoyable to you. If
you don’t get everything done, it’s not the end of the world. In order to make the actually day of the holiday enjoyable, the journey must also be enjoyable.
Don’t let the stress of the preparation carry over into the
holiday. This past Thanksgiving, I made
sure to make the preparation as fun as the actual day. In turn, doing so made Thanksgiving Day (and
all the other parties that weekend) more fun.
3. Adjust the settings on your “expectation
meter” to ZERO. Tell yourself right
now, “It’s not going to be perfect” and “it’s not going to turn out how I want”. But that’s OK. Don’t imagine the worst – just accept the
events as they come. Lowering your expectations will automatically ease your stress.
4. Don’t consume yourself with what other
people might be thinking of you. The
truth is, they’re not thinking about YOU, they are thinking about
themselves. So don’t beat yourself up
about something you said or didn’t say.
Don’t analyze what you did in certain situations. No one is thinking about you –
if they do, it will only be for a moment and they will move on. Embrace the awkwardness.
5. Don’t participate in gossip. You
might understand how harmful it is to other people. Yet, gossip is just as harmful to the person
speaking it. If you spend your time
talking about others, even if it is good things, you will begin to worry about
what other people are saying about you. Gossip feeds a low self-esteem whether you are
degrading someone else to feel better about yourself, or whether you are
comparing someone’s strengths to your weaknesses.
If you find that you are surrounded by toxic people, people
who gossip a lot or make you feel bad about yourself, it is OK to walk away. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No
one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So don’t consent to be a part of toxic
conversations, even if you are just trying to be polite. We, as a society, do so many ridiculous things in the name of “politeness”. Don’t sacrifice your self-worth in order to
be polite to someone you barely know.
6. Quiet your inner critic. Think of your inner critic, or the voice of
anxiety, as a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Just like a toddler, if you respond to the
crying, you are adding more fuel to the fire.
Ignore the voices in your head that put you down, degrade your
self-worth, or make you feel like you’re not good enough. Ignore the voices that cause anxiety,
perfectionist tendencies, or obsessive behaviors. Tell yourself, “Remember, I am not going to
do that anymore!” And try to move
on. Lead with your body (engage in
health routines) even if your head isn’t there yet. If you lead with your actions, your mind will eventually follow.
7. Remember, you don’t have to do anything you
don’t want to do. Yet, remember, if
it is worth doing, then it is worth a little pain and suffering. Sometimes during the Christmas season, we get
so busy with events that we forget to take care of ourselves. It is OK to pick and choose which events to
attend. If something is causing you too
much anxiety, whether you are too busy or you just need to take care of
yourself, it is OK to say no.
All in all, we want the Holidays to be an enjoyable time,
right? So, instead of focusing on other
people’s standards, focus on what you need.
If you are having a good time, more often than not, others around will
have a good time as well.
Wonderful tips, Mary!
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