Monday, September 30, 2013

Binge Eating Cycle

I’m unhappy.
I should lose weight.
Everyone is doing it.
Why can’t I?
I’d like to look like that.
I’ll start a diet.
This one looks good.
It worked for her.
OK, good food and bad food list.
I feel better already.
This will be fun.
Opps, I ate some bad food.
Today is ruined.
I must try harder.
I’m not a quitter.
I won’t give up that easily.
I’d like to wear that dress and those pants.
I guess I’ll start again tomorrow.
Yes, tomorrow is a new day.
I’ll eat everything tonight for the last time…last time ever.
I’ll wake up early and run.
Right, I’ll make up for it tomorrow.
I feel sinful eating all this bad food.
Now, I can’t sleep because I’m thinking of all the bad food I just ate.
Wake up late after multiple snooze buttons.
I’m such a loser.
Better skip breakfast.
I’ll do better today.
I must do better today.
I’ll show myself that I am not a weak loser.
It will make me feel better.
Avoid food…avoid food.
Late at night.
I’m hungry.
I’ll just have one cookie.
It looks so good because I didn’t eat dinner.
What harm can one cookie do?
Oh no, that was a bad food.
I feel ashamed.
I must have no discipline…no will power.
I’m a bad person.
I feel awful.
I’ll start over tomorrow.
Right, I’ll get a do-over tomorrow.
Better eat all the bad food tonight.
This is the last time.
Wake up.
Sick to my stomach.
Now, I’m really a loser.
I won’t eat at all today.
It’ll be a good jump start to my diet.
Yeah, you know, like a detox.
That will make me feel better.
I must lose weight.
That will make me happy.
Today, I’m moody.
I’m irritable.
I’m focused on not eating.
Nothing else matters.
All I can think of is food.
Late at night.
What harm can one graham cracker do?
Three full meals later, what have I done?
I want to die.
I am the most disgusting person on the face of the earth.
I won’t eat tomorrow.
I will exercise like crazy.
If I eat, then I will punish myself.
Get up.
All I can see is fat.
All I can feel is the food in my stomach.
All I can think about is how much of a loser I am.
I can’t eat today.
Just drink water.
I didn’t eat today.
I’m proud of myself.
This feels good to be in control.
Next day, I started eating at breakfast, and I can’t stop.
I’ve been eating constantly this whole day.
I thought I was on a diet.
I won’t eat tomorrow.
I’ll get back that good feeling of accomplishment.
Remember, I have to be in control of my body.
I can’t trust myself to eat.
Oh, and I’ll run until I drop.
OK, now that I got a plan, I can go to sleep.
Everything makes me cry.
I am miserable.
Losing weight will make me happy.
That’s the only thing that matters.
Good day.
Bad day.
Good day.
Bad day.
Bad day.
Bad day.
Bad day…

Been there?  You’re not alone.

Want to get off the merry-go-round?  Click the link: How to Stop Binge Eating

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