 |
| {Photo published on web here} |
I went through a period of time when I was severely
concerned about the thoughts in my head.
My thoughts were so contradictory to what I knew to be true. My thoughts were all over the place and lacked
continuity with reality. The experience
left me crippled. I felt like I could no
longer trust my judgment. If I couldn’t
trust my own thoughts, how was I supposed to live?
Some of these thoughts were: you are not good enough, you don't deserve anything good, you can't do anything right, and you are worthless.
It was a true “Eureka” moment when it finally sunk in that
my thoughts were not an intrinsic part of me.
Thoughts are something that “happens” to me. I cannot control what happens to me. I cannot control those passive thoughts that
come in and out of my brain. What I can
control is how I react to them. I have
to discern and separate the
useful and important thoughts from the negative and damaging thoughts.
Now how can you tell the
difference?
Well, when I find one of my thoughts conflicting with what I
know to be true, I analyze (first) where it came from and (second) what it is
prompting me to do.
If it came from a place of self hate then I know to throw
out the thought and not act on it. If it
came from a place of empathy, then I can evaluate what it is calling me to
do.
If the thought is prompting me to be
productive, respectful, and thus, in line with what I believe and profess in
the Catholic faith, then the thought is good and maybe inspired by the Holy
Spirit. If reacting to the thought causes self
loathing, inactivity, feelings of being overwhelmed or discouraged, then the
thought is negative and may have come from a bad habit or the enemy himself.
Another way to look at it is "realistic vs. inner critic". Ask yourself if you are being
true to reality or if it is just your inner criticism beating you down.
First, pay attention to the tone of the thought and how it is talking to
you. Is it anxious, nervous, rambling,
and offers no solutions? Or is it
productive, optimistic, unbiased, and cheering you on? The first kind of thought is from your inner
critic. The second kind is more realistic.
An example is when I am getting ready for an event like a wedding. In my mind, I know that looks are not important and I am loved no matter how I look. But, having a history of extreme self criticism, I often fall to pieces when I am finding a dress to put and when I am doing my hair. My thoughts tell me I am fat and ugly. If I listened to my thoughts, I would never go anywhere ever. But, I can discern that these self degrading thoughts come from a place of hatred and not love. The thoughts do not inspire me to do anything good and actually don’t inspire me to do anything at all. I know that I have to ignore those negative thoughts the best that I can and keep going with what I know to be true.
I repeat positive encouraging messages to myself over and over and over until I am no longer thinking about the negative thoughts. Sometimes, it is so hard to do this on my own. And that is why I have little notes around the house to help me when I am in need.
Other notes that I have visibly posted around the house are:
Feelings are not facts
You do NOT have to earn the right to eat
Be kind to yourselfI am body, mind, and soul
If you need extra reminders throughout the day to encourage
your thoughts to be positive and realistic, I highly recommend making yourself
little notes and posting them where you will see them often. Sometimes, I don’t even realize that I am
having an unrealistic thought until I see one of my reminders.
I will leave you with a favorite prayer of mine.
“O Lord, help me to realize that nothing will happen to me
today that You and I cannot work out together. Amen”
No comments:
Post a Comment