So many times I want to quit because I think I am not good enough.
I am a really good quitter.
I might even quit this blog. Sometimes I feel good about my writing. I think it is helping people and effectively getting across the message I want to get across. Most of the time, however, I feel like I am rambling into an empty abyss and not making sense at all.
I could come up with thousands of reasons to quit this blog. People have worse problems than me. Who wants to hear about my wimpy-ness. My page is amateur, people probably think the whole thing is lame, I am not a good enough writer, I am not savvy with webpage writing and html script, and so on and so on…
The moment after I decide to quit blogging, God reminds me that I am a “rusty tool”. Meaning, I am not perfect or in the best of shape…like an old tool in your garage. However, just because I don’t look the best doesn’t mean He can’t use me in His Workshop.
(The term “rusty tool” is from the Militia Immaculata (or Military for the Immaculate Conception) founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe. It is a movement of the Catholic Church for lay people and consecrated alike. Thousands of people have enrolled in the M.I. and are spreading the Good News of the Gospel through the devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mother. If you want to check out the M.I., you can view their website here. If you’d like to learn more, you can email me at craigmaryborchers (at) gmail (dot) com. I’d be more than happy to give you information.)
So, for the time being, I’ll keep plugging along with this blog. I’ll keep going because, I believe, God can use me as an instrument to work in other people’s lives. Even if I don’t think I am doing a good job (even if I feel rusty and old and useless), I can still work. I am still alive and capable of, at least, trying to do my best. He can still use me to bring about a greater good.
God can work miracles, even today. But he needs our cooperation.
We don’t have to be perfect to cooperate with God’s will. We just have to be open. By sharing my difficulties and sufferings with others, God can use my imperfections to bring about a greater good.
I shouldn’t stop working with God, just because I don't think I'm good enough.
One way I remind myself of this truth is by purposefully not making my blog the best it can be.
For example, I don’t mind typos. It’s a good reminder for me that I am not perfect. This is just a blog. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I am human just like you. If the typo changes the whole meaning of the sentence or what I am trying to say, then I’ll fix it. Otherwise I’ll just let it go. It’s challenging sometimes, but it is good practice for me to not give in to my perfectionist tendencies.
And it helps me to keep things in perspective.