You might get up in the morning, and, as you get out of bed, you put a heavy chain around your shoulders. (You might have slept with it on...if you slept at all.) As you get dressed, you put on another chain. As you looking in the mirror, you put on a few more chains. All throughout the day, you carry more and more "weight". Like when you look at your breakfast options, when you analyze how someone talks to you, when you listen to all those negative voices inside your head saying "you are ugly, you are worthless, you are alone."
With each agonizing step, you are giving away more and more of your freedom.
Self-induced slavery. Voluntary slavery. Nothing is holding you hostage........besides yourself. But who is your master? Surely not the loving, compassionate, merciful God. Is it the devil or sin then? The devil doesn't even have the power to treat you this harshly. He is pleased to let you do your own thing, because you are more destructive than him. No, your master is your body.
All for the sake of your body. Eat a certain way so that your body looks a certain way. Exercise, clothes, make-up, hair, skin. "The way you want your body to look" is the end-all-be-all.
Your idea of IMAGE is your master.
You do not have the power to overcome yourself. You are the one holding yourself in bondage, BUT you do not have the key to unlock the door. You cannot save yourself.
Freedom. You don't even know what that feels like anymore. You shall carry this burden to the grave if you have to. The grave. What a welcome thought. The only way to escape this slavery.
Or is it?
The long road to recovery is worth it for no other reason than freedom. Can you imagine with me for just a second of being free of your eating disorder?
I pity you. My heart aches for you, because I know what it feels like to be in that slavery.
You are worth it. You are beautiful just the way you are. You are NEVER alone. You deserve freedom. Jesus is begging for you to choose freedom.
Who are you? I do not know because you are suppressed and over-worked and too tired. How do I wake you? How can I release you from this awful slavery?
The answer is simple, but definitely NOT EASY:
Choose freedom.
When you wake up in the morning, before moving another inch, pray, "God, set me free from this eating disorder."
Ask for help. Get counseling. Take medicine. Slowly train your negative thoughts to be positive ones. Read self-help material. Surround yourself with people who are free. Don't go to the supermarket. Don't go on the internet. Don't watch TV. Don't go to the mall or shop for clothes. Love yourself because GOD loves you. Find that one person who will help you and keep you accountable. And the hardest step of all, let go of control.
Let go of control. Seems impossible, right?
Food is not the enemy. Staying in this eating disorder slavery means that you are more afraid of food than of dying. No, no, food is not the enemy.
Imagine who you could be if you were free.
