Needless to say, I am having a hard time finding the time to blog. I thought I was back in business before, but its been...whoa...almost 2 months since I last published a post. I think about writing often. But thinking about it and doing it are not the same thing...obviously.
I have good intentions. In everything I do, I honestly can say I have some sort of orientation toward "the good". I don't want to get into philosophy here mainly because it's not my point, but, also because, I'm not sure I remember how to logically spell out a philosophical argument anymore. I have flashbacks to those hilarious freshman year classes. What I remember, however, is more about an infamous door as opposed to actual content. :)
If I am going to continue this blog, I have to let go of perfectionism. I don't have time to read and reread my posts over and over until they are "perfect". If I am going to keep this up, I just have to write, quickly glance, hit that button, and walk away. If I can't do that, then this is over, BlogSpot. Ultimatum.
You're going to love these...
Recently, I've been into TED Talks. Our Apple TV added the "app" and, since then, I've been hooked. The talks do a great job of motivating me to feel motivated, whether I actually do anything is another subject. But it's nice to feel motivated. (You'll get my emphasis later.)
Here are my two favs so far:
Embrace the shake
"In art school, Phil Hansen developed an unruly tremor in his hand that kept him from creating the pointillist drawings he loved. Hansen was devastated, floating without a sense of purpose. Until a neurologist made a simple suggestion: embrace this limitation ... and transcend it."
Your elusive creative genius by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love)
"Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses — and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk."
Still struggling with body image...
I don't remember where I first read these tidbits of knowledge, but they have stuck with me for some time now.
"You need love the most when you feel you deserve it the least."
and
"You can’t hate your way into loving yourself."
When I am struggling with body image, I hate myself - I hate the way I look, I hate my style, my hair, my skin, the way I talk...you get the drift. I get caught up in this endless cycle of self-hate which inevitably translates into unlovable. "If I hate myself, then how can anyone else possibly love me?"
It helps me to remember that, when I am feeling this way, indulging in those self-destructive thoughts will not help me feel better. I have to stop them as soon as I realize what I am doing. (Easier said then done.) And get myself back on a positive track.
Its hard to act against your feelings. It seems unnatural. It seems fake. But, if you think about it, it's not.
We often let our feelings dictate what we do. But feelings are not facts, feelings are not truth, feelings are not the end-all-be-all. Sometimes we have to act a certain way despite our feelings.
Acting on feelings is precisely the downfall of our post-modern culture. Do whatever you feel like doing as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. ...But what if hurts you? Are we free to hurt ourselves? I guess so. But why would we want to do that?
Ahhh, Relativism, it always comes back to you...
Feelings do not make a good or bad person. Just because I feel like I am unlovable doesn't mean I am unlovable. Its my actions that determine my fate.